Why?

Mommy, daddy, Aly, Jay Jay, Dee, Oreo, hair, teeth, toothpaste, cookie, juice, cuppie, blankie, baby, book, puppy, bear, Mickey, paw print, a clue, Dora, couch, socks, shoes, bye bye, clap, milk, boy, picky up, ball, bubbles, no, tub, no means no, Elmo, Big Bird, bitz, cheese, yogurt, Pooh, Tigger, boo, ouch, bibbie, apple, bar, cow, poop, bobo boooo, taste, more, read this.

These 50 odd words I found pinned up to the freezer in the garage last week. I had found them unpacking last year and we had put it there as a place of unobtrusive reminder of the words that Liv had spoke befor she regressed beginning in January 2004. Luckily, we had found them while packing for the move to Monmouth Co NJ from Sussex Co NJ mid 2005. I would have hated for that small piece 5"X8" white paper to have been lost. It's evidence of the world that she left behind more than 3 years ago.

Mommy, dada, no, hi. These are the discernable words she says now. Not on cue; more like as pop outs. That is not to say that she does not communicate now; she can 'get' and communicate dozens of concepts, sometimes prompted, sometimes spontaneous. She is obviously deeper in thought than she was when she was a toddler. I just miss having the chance to communicate concepts like pointing out fleeting beauty; naming things and having the concept repeated and understood; running, tackling hellos; tearful goodbyes. I know I'm being selfish; these kind of things are no longer part of her. Just as satisfying actions have replaced them and these things I wish for may well resurface later.

I miss them just the same...

Bill