Space Couch- 1999-2008

It arrived in mid 1999, in response to Linda's plea for somewhere comfortable to sleep when the baby arrived. A three piece sectional, dark blue. We christened it "Space Couch", because of all the bells and whistles it came with. You felt like you were in the cockpit of some great spaceship. Dual Recliners, a flip down console with massage, heat and a hookup for a telephone. The other side, a pull out bed and a flip down place for drinks. A Couch Potato's dream for sure. Linda was planning on spending the first few weeks of Jason's life on the couch so she didn't have to get up in the middle of the night with the worry of opening up he C-section.

That was then...one child, one on the way. A few things have happened since then. I can't even remember life back then. One kid...ONE child! What did we DO with all our time? In a 5 year stretch from when we bought that couch, we added four kids. If that didn't change our life radically enough we also added autism to the mix. And the couches have seen it all from the back end.

We weren't thinking durability- four kids later, that is painfully apparent. This was a somewhat decadent purchase from the late 90's where we chose function over solid form. The massage and heat have not been working for years; the recliners no longer recline. What were once proud, soft and firm seats have sunk down, revealing the wooden framework. The other couch has the back separating from the seat from repeated attacks from various attempts at gymnastics. Even the cats get vertigo when climbing on the back of it. It was probably our move from Sussex County to Monmouth that was the beginning of the end for Space Couch. It had just lost its mystique by then, not to mention a few screws, some wiring and structural integrity.

It had gotten so bad that we began looking at curbside couches as 'slightly used' compared to the disasters we we holding onto. The reason was pretty simple: Two years ago the couch was not THAT bad and last year we began the process of potty training. The thought was that after we got through the few months of training, we would scrap them for new couches. Well 13 months later, we have just begun the process with Grace; Livie has taken three times as long as we expected, she is only now really beginning to get a rhythm. The couches have borne some the brunt of this process.

So when my sister offered up couches from her garage, the choice was easy. No 'new' couch to worry about stains; we could get a year or two use out of these and if there were accidents, there would be no real hand wringing. The added bonus was that they were my parents' old couches. Not that there's any reason to think that there might be some kind of positive karma in them; Mary, my sister, says there's a 'mom mark' on it where my mother's head was for the last years of her life. At this point, we can use all the good karma we can get, and if 'Saint Therese' can watch over and help us get the little things done in life, that would be a great addition.

Now comes the task of digging through the crevices to find all the lost treasures from the past nine years. We've already found 3 spoons, two letter 'R's, a Game Boy game, a lost TV remote and lots and lots of JUNK! Space Couch is HEAVY and we did not have the manpower (nor the confidence in our carpentry skills in case they broke) to move them that often. It's like an archaeological dig; they always want to find the 'garbage dump' because that's where all the good stuff is. Every toy, every cup and utensil, every (yuck) pretzel that fell through the cracks is not part of the 'decommissioning' process of looking at each part of this sectional for hidden potential treasures. Coins, BAH! We're looking for GOLD; that missing puzzle piece, that 1 inch by 1 inch 40$ Game Boy game; the other remote that's been missing for 9 months; the unknown lost treasure that one of the girls stole and stashed in a crevice for a rainy day.

In any event, au revior dear Space Couch, may you be found in some future archaeological dig as an example of something that could not stand the weight of so large a family! Thanks for your service, don't let the door hit your cushions on the way out!

PS, yes that is NOT my couch but the first picture of a joke about whether you choose dogs or kids for you life...this is the picture of the dog, HERE'S the kid picture. Neither are thankfully representative of the true nature of my house, but there are occasions when it came close!