Thursday, June 26, 2008

Deja Mew

Oh boy, what a sucker I am. I have exactly zero influence in my house when it comes to matters of the heart. First, let me take you back almost exactly one year, to my catiasco of 2007. Fast forward to today and it's more than a coincidence. Same issue with our eldest cat, bladder stones; same operation at the same vet. Same friggin phone call from the same friggin wife with the same friggin problem. To coin a musical phrase, and they call it- kitty love. My end of the conversation was reticent: "No!", "Absolutely not!", "They will not scoop, water and feed them right!" Linda took it blow by blow and promised to have the kids sign a contract to be in control of the cat duties. Linda was demure but steadfast...she wanted this kitten.

I could have vetoed the deal, really I could have. I probably would have been given the cold shoulder for only six to nine months. Secured my position in the Cold Heartless Bastard Hall of Fame. Instead, I get a cover story in IQ: Idiots Quarterly. I didn't even get a choice of names, by the time she arrived at the house Linda already had the name Amber picked.

I guess on the plus side is it's a baby that does not have diapers. The cat is perfect (that was one of my stipulations for ANY four legged animal that comes through these doors), she's fiesty AND loveable. She was bottle fed from one day old and is completely comfortable with people. Livie's high pitched screech did freak her out a little, and the shear volume in the house is obviously a source of discomfort; all I can say is "GET USED TO IT KID". Grace has got her name down pat already, and while there is no interaction between them per se, there have been several mid-living room near collisions between them. I even have several real poor Amber jokes:

What do you call Amber if she sticks her claw in an electrical socket? Ember
What do you call Amber if she pisses daddy off too much? Amberger
What will Amber say if she gets locked out in the winter? Damn! Burr...

So much for my shoulder surgery recovery. I'm last week's news, the latest chaos is a fuzzy brown kitty named Amber.

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