Tuesday, March 18, 2008

ALL YOU CAN EAT $7.95...FREE SHOW...


Hey! Welcome to the show...I'm your host, Bill. I hope you enjoyed the buffet (ihopeyouavoidedtheshrimp). I'll be your entertainment for the evening. I'm new here, hoping everything will be to you liking here in ClubHub.

Hey, how many aspies do we have in the audience tonight, wave your hands? WOW! quite a few of you out there, I'm glad you got out here tonight...OK OK you can stop waving your hands...OH? OK, keep wavin' them...anything that makes you happy.

Parents with kids on the spectrum? Anyone? OK I see few with their heads on the tables, someone wake them up, I know it's past 9:00 folks but you spent the money you should try and say awake. I don't care how late your kids were up last night.

Lastly, any scientists out there? Yea, I know there are some who are both scientists AND aspies and EVEN parents...yea pal, I really don't know how I'm going to handle that bias in my analysis...jeez there's always a epidemiological heckler in the group, isn't there?

Well, I'd like to thank you for inviting me here, for those three people who read my blog who are not directly related to the spectrum, I've just hit the autism blog 'big time', they are now linking me on something called Autism Hub, really just a spot on the web with buncha links to blogs for people talking about and around and being in the autism spectrum. My family wouldn't get a lot of what's talked about there. But my Dad's probably here in the audience tonight in the back. Dad? Take a bow. Dad? Huh? No, Dad, I think he's OK, he just doesn't want you talking to him, no, the joke was probably real funny, you're just invading his space. He'll stop talking to you, sir. Yea, give my dad a little slack he's probably the only neurotypical in the room.

So, a little about myself, I'm old enough to remember dials on TV's. I've been married for...for...WTF! 20 years this year?! Wow, SHE deserves a medal! We have 5 humans under our charge, my two youngest are why I got into this whole autism world. I was going to say that my youngest two, I'm learning how to understand, then I realized...I don't understand ANY of them! They're 13 down to 3. I'm from the great state of NJ and NO, the environmental issues in NJ did not cause my children's autism. Well, maybe, I'm not 100% sure.

Which brings us to something I have to tell you's people in the Hub audience (I never was comfortable sayin' y'all, so I use the Soprano's vernacular instead). I have my daughters on biomedical interventions. HEY! Those veggies are for eating, the manager will make me clean the stage up if you start throwing them! I told them upfront that I had these leanings, I'm not one of those radicals if that's what your worried about. I freely admit the lack of scientific evidence that some of the things we do have. Uh oh, here comes the epidemiheckler again, yea yea buddy, we can debate AFTER the show and I'll probably lose... sir, do you chase nuns down the street to debate atheism? Right, lemme finish my set first, sir.

OK, to wrap up quick...love my kids...I'm gonna fight for my girls' rights...that is, if I can keep my sanity intact. We have a lot to talk and laugh about, lotta work to do. Otherwise, catch my show; I'll do one every week or so. Catch my DVD's for sale in the lobby. Take advantage of the free beer and wine (for those wine lovers... exnay on the ineway, it's vintage February), come back soon and don't forget to tip the staff...

8 comments:

kristina said...

Great to hear your voice here----looking forward to reading the "show"!

Club 166 said...

Ha! You probably remember phones with rotary dials, too.

Welcome to the Hub.

Joe

Anne said...

Hey, you're killin' 'em out there, Bill. Welcome to the hub!

Beau McClelland said...

Hey there Bill.

Didn't think you'd actually apply to join the Hub, but I'm glad you did.

Welcome.

Do'C said...

Hi Bill, and welcome!

Steve D said...

Welcome to the Hub, Bill! Your perspective will be a great addition here.

(Note to self: Cancel Hub Membership)

LIVSPARENTS said...

There goes the neighborhood, right?

Thanks everyone, I'll try and take my 'show' up a notch...

Matt said...

Wow, the autism hub has a beard!

Good to see you here, Bill!